Pots and Perseverence

Say what you will about 2025, but I've had a pretty good year; by no means was it an easy one, but definitely one that I see myself reminiscing about in the future as being one of the first where everything seemingly started to change for the better. 2025 brought about a lot of change, most of which, looking back, was self-initiated. I found myself actively seeking out a "better tomorrow" more than I had ever before.

For most of my adult life I was pretty hard-nosed, in the sense that I would feel the need to persevere through anything and everything, regardless of how challenging it might have been. Naturally, remnants of that mentality remain, however, I feel as though I have been able to instrumentalise that determination in a way that would benefit me more - that is, to use that energy for dealing with any hardships I face when inititating a change in my life, rather than wasting that energy on powering through uncomfortable and compromising settings. One of the biggest changes for me last year was quitting my job of nearly two years as it had become exactly that - an environment I didn't want to be part of anymore due to a variety of reasons.

I quit without a plan, nowhere to go immediately after, it was quite the risk, considering the current state of the job market and such. Despite that, I allowed myself a month-long window of unemployment to figure it all out, while also dedicating some time to catch up with myself, my needs and maybe even pursue something new. I'd had my eyes set on starting pottery/ceramics for the longest time and after some deliberating, decided that it was probably the best time to start, especially considering there were so few obligations at that point in time - so pursue ceramics I did.

Only having thrown a single bowl before, I was sure in for a ride with how much I had to learn still, and how intricate and variable each step of the way was. Even now, having done it for about three months consistently, I find new ways to get things wrong, but, at the very least, walk away from each session having learned something new to counteract these minor skill adversitites. I found that, quite ironically, my biggest skill issue becomes apparent in pressure application when throwing; it's almost as though there's still some wiring to be undone within that makes me subconsciously resort to perseverence. Could working with this medium be a means of working through this mental blockade? Only time can tell, haha.

Retrospectively, starting ceramics at such a financially uncertain time was definitely a choice on my end, I definitely could have waited at least until I had found a lead for a job, but then again, having something that provided stability, routine and insight to the extent it did definitely helped me stay sane during that time. My unemployment lasted a bit longer than I would have liked it to, but thankfully it did not got to a point of direness; I found and started a new job a few days later than I initially had planned and have been happily employed there since. I genuinely believe that taking these two risks back to back, while it was a lot to handle at points, cost me less stress than staying in an environment I had long needed to escape from.