Refurbishing

I've come to realise that I've been really terrible with upkeeping a consistent social media presence these past couple of years, almost to an extent where I believe that it might just not be for me. I adore the prospect of sharing anything and everything online, but the scene has evolved so much that it feels borderline impossible to find motivation to stick around on platforms that are mainstream nowadays. So much so that I've resorted to independent blogging again, something I haven't done properly since I started high school (emphasis on the word properly).

I started this blog during my studies back in 2020; we were encouraged to do so ahead of starting the course, and I used it as a means to get back into blogging. However, the approach I took was so overly serious and sort of uncanny that I at one point had to scrap everything and start over. 

These posts read very much like a poor attempt at a script for a short YouTube video; they all had an intro, an outro, directly referred to the readers, had poorly placed quirky remarks, and ultimately contained nothing of substance aside from some ideas I had written down or the ever-so-infrequent work progress images. Initially, I wrote it off as the typical case of outgrowing your younger self and cringing at those parts of yourself that you don't associate with anymore; however, reading back, I realise that's not exactly where the problem lies. I now believe it to have been the closest I've ever gotten to feeling like a digital creator in a mainstream sense; hence the eccentric approach to blogging that followed the creation of the blog. 

With that feeling came a looming sense of pressure (which, by now, I realise was fully self-imposed) and as a result, blogging was kind of ruined for me for a good while; I kept running it up until my final year of study, but then dropped it almost as soon as it was no longer a required tool of documentation of our work in the course. That's also roughly the time when I chose to archive every post on here so that I had a clean slate when I chose to come back.

This time around I'm willingly choosing to keep my blogging on the lowkey for the time being while I get more comfortable with it again; I don't want to bind myself to any kind of schedule or fixed plan,  I don't intend on promoting my posts anywhere either, just want to use this blog as exactly that - a blog, rather than a part of my brand or anything of that sort. The main goal for now is to rediscover the feeling of eagerness and excitement when pressing the "new post" button in the home page and rediscover the comfort blogging brought around when I first started circa 2012.